I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
