I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
