Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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