If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
