well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize