My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No stitches, just platelets and will power
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
