Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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