I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
