Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
