You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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