So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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