how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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