she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
