please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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