Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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