Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
