Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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