fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
