Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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