your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
