I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
