i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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