Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
