Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
