She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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