Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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