omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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