I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
