just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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