lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize