tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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