Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
