Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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