just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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