census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
