just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
