oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
