so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
