I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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