before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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