some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize