Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
