i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
