I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
