Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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