Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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