It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sext me about skeletons
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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