arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
