i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
