well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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