If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My balls are so social today.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
