You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
