and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
