i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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