Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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