It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
