i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
