nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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