Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
